the Specktator

Hats off to Corrine Brown!

There are many, many things former U.S. Congresswoman Corrine Brown can be remembered for—good or bad. I prefer to think of her as the “Head of Hats of the United States.”

While I haven’t a clue as to how many hats Brown owns, I can only assume she has a walk-in closet jam-packed with them. I also like to imagine each one has its very own hat box labeled with a description of its contents.

Since I have never been invited to Brown’s home, I can’t verify any of the above, but that certainly hasn’t stopped me from coming up with my own hat box labels.

▼ “The One I Received as a Gift From a Constituent Who Works at Cracker Barrel Country Store and Restaurant Out by the Airport”









▼ “The Manhole Cover”








▼ “The One With the Rhinestone Studded Tarantulas on the Brim”






▼ “The One That Matches My Sensible Red Shoes”










▼ “The One That Looks Like I’ve Got a Black Cat Sleeping on My Head”









 “The One That Looks Like I’ve Got a Black Cat Sleeping on My Head — If the Cat Was Red”


▼ “Orange Organza Orgasm”



▼ “Vice Admiral Bedazzle”








▼ “Corrine Delivers!”

▼ “Pepto Bismol Vomit”

▼ “
The Samuel L. Jackson With Sequins”


“Red, White and Brown”

▼ “The One I Wore When I Co-Presented an Award in the Lobby of an Office Building in Front of the Revolving Door”



▼ “The Pied Piper”

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