There are many, many things former U.S. Congresswoman Corrine Brown can be remembered for—good or bad. I prefer to think of her as the “Head of Hats of the United States.”
While I haven’t a clue as to how many hats Brown owns, I can only assume she has a walk-in closet jam-packed with them. I also like to imagine each one has its very own hat box labeled with a description of its contents.
Since I have never been invited to Brown’s home, I can’t verify any of the above, but that certainly hasn’t stopped me from coming up with my own hat box labels.
▼ “The One I Received as a Gift From a Constituent Who Works at Cracker Barrel Country Store and Restaurant Out by the Airport”
▼ “The Manhole Cover”
▼ “The One With the Rhinestone Studded Tarantulas on the Brim”
▼ “The One That Matches My Sensible Red Shoes”
▼ “The One That Looks Like I’ve Got a Black Cat Sleeping on My Head”
▼ “The One That Looks Like I’ve Got a Black Cat Sleeping on My Head — If the Cat Was Red”
▼ “Orange Organza Orgasm”
▼ “Vice Admiral Bedazzle”
▼ “Corrine Delivers!”
▼ “Pepto Bismol Vomit”
▼ “The Samuel L. Jackson With Sequins”
▼ “Red, White and Brown”
▼ “The One I Wore When I Co-Presented an Award in the Lobby of an Office Building in Front of the Revolving Door”