People named Chris Hemsworth the “Sexiest Man Alive” for 2015. Personally, I don’t even find the guy that attractive, let alone the SEXIEST MAN ALIVE (that honor is reserved for Alex O’Loughlin, of course). But it did get me thinking, if there were a similar title for local dudes, who would it be.
To make this determination, I turned to social media to seek nominations. Then, using a proprietary software (which may or may not be a pen and paper) and the counsel of a hand-picked panel of local folks who represent a range of ages, races, occupations and sexual preferences, I arrived at the “Sexiest Man in Jacksonville.” (The identities of said panelists are a highly guarded secret. I will never reveal their names or comments even under penalty of law.)
So without further ado, I present to you the Sexiest Man in Jacksonville…
Occupation: music director of the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra and assistant conductor of the New York Philharmonic
What makes him sexy? “Besides being good looking, obviously, he is intelligent and so passionate about music. The accent doesn’t hurt.” (quote from a supporter)
NOTE: From the start there was controversy over Lewis’ nomination, namely that he doesn’t even live in Jacksonville and only pops in a couple times a year to conduct the symphony and leave the streets of Downtown covered in charisma. While I don’t disagree with Lewis’ selection, I do have to agree with the fact that he isn’t a true Jacksonvillian. So I, once again, crunched the numbers (whatever that means) and consulted my secret panel to come up with a truly sexy, true Jacksonvillian. As it turns out, there were so many, we couldn’t decide on just one.
That said, I present to you the 15 other Sexiest Men in Jacksonville (in alpha order). Eat your hearts out, straight ladies and gay guys and bisexual peeps.
Occupation: senior partner at LEAP Collaborative LLC , president and CEO of JumpingFish, host of Tonight! With Jim Alabiso also an open water marathon swimmer
What makes him sexy: “He’s fit, fearless and not afraid to wear a Speedo.”
Occupation: professional golfer on PGA Tour
What makes him sexy: “There’s just something about him. Plus, he’s Swedish so he has an adorable accent.” “Bonus: he lives in Jacksonville Beach and has been known to frequent Taco Lu.”
Occupation: head football coach at Episcopal School of Jacksonville, ESPN analyst and former NFL quarterback
What makes him sexy: “The older he gets, the hotter he gets.” “The fact that he didn’t let that whole bankruptcy business thing get him down shows he’s got his head on straight.”
Occupation: safety for the Jacksonville Jaguars
What makes him sexy: “Two words: gun show.” “He has a big heart. Does a lot of charity work and started the CypSquad At-Risk Youth Foundation.”
Occupation: chef/owner at Corner Taco
What makes him sexy: “He’s got that rugged but boy-next-door thing happening … And he can cook!”
Occupation: goalie for the Jacksonville Armada
What makes him sexy? “A professional soccer player with ‘bedroom eyes'”
Occupation: manager of political affairs at JAX Chamber
What makes him sexy? “Of course, there are his looks, but he’s a family man. He coaches little league and brags about his wife and kids.”