Events mentioned (or not) on 4/24/2014 edition of First Coast Connect

In case you missed my ramblings on WJCT’s First Coast Connect this morning, here are some of the events coming up this weekend.

Please note: event times, dates and locations are subject to change, so call before you haul (call the venue, that is, not me).

kittens puppiesFriday, April 24–Sunday, April 26
First Coast No More Homeless Pets Mega Adoption Event, 10 a.m.-6 p.m., Jacksonville Fairgrounds

Saturday, April 25
Butterfly Festival, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Tree Hill Nature Center

A Taste of St. Augustine, noon-7 p.m., St. Augustine Amphitheatre

Taste of St Johns Town Center, 4-8 p.m., St. Johns Town Center

#FreeKHG Silent Auction, 6-9 p.m., Smorgasbord

Jacksonville RollerGirls: New Jax City Rollers vs. Tampa Tantrums, 6:30 p.m., Mandarin Skate Station

Riverside Fine Arts presents the Becca Stephens Band, 8 p.m., Underbelly

Tommy Harrison Group, 8 p.m., Freebird Live

Saturday, April 26-Sunday, April 27
RAP Spring Tour of Homes, Saturday: 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday: noon-5 p.m., various locations throughout Riverside and Avondale

Sunday, April 27
HEAL Zoo Walk, 8:30 a.m., Jacksonville Zoo

First Coast Fresh Farm Stroll, noon-5 p.m., various locations

Ongoing
“The New York Times Magazine Photographs,” April 26 though August 24, MOCA Jacksonville

In other weekend news

  • Pamela will be weeding her flower bed.
  • Ray will be soldering a DC power jack onto a laptop motherboard.
  • Tony will probably still be in Europe.
  • Ben _America will continue to spread #jaxmojo.

fcc_logo_stack_02Yours truly appears on First Coast Connect on WJCT every Thursday at 9:45-ish-ish. If you have an event you would like to be considered for the show or other promotional opportunities, feel free to email me.

 

Throwback Thursday: No txt & drive. TY.

Since “Throwback Thursday” is such a hit on Facebook, I’m going to use it as an excuse to be lazy and recycle posts from my former Folio.com blog (did I mention it’s award-winning?).

specktatorOriginal post: Oct. 9, 2013

In an effort to “improve roadway safety … and prevent crashes related to the act of text messaging while driving a motor vehicle,” the state legislature passed the “Florida Ban on Texting While Driving.” Despite the law going into effect more than a week ago, many Jacksonville residents are just now hearing about it. One reason is because no one can shut up about the Mathews Bridge or the return of Cinottis’ pumpkin donuts long enough to listen (apparently, the federal government shut down too—whatever that means). The lack of knowledge and/or interest regarding the ban might also have something to do with the law’s exclusions and limitations, and the fact that it’s only a secondary offense, meaning law enforcement can’t pull a driver over just for texting.

While I applaud lawmakers for the effort, I’m not sure how much of an impact it will actually have, especially since there are so many other distracting activities done while driving.

dog looking out car windowDriving while primping: includes but is not limited putting on make-up, shaving, eyebrow plucking, doing your hair, flossing teeth, applying self-tanner and popping zits
Driving while holding something bulky, living, hot, fragile or otherwise distracting: includes but is not limited to a beanbag chair, a live animal (no matter how small or adorable), tray of baked beans right out of the oven, three-tier wedding cake or a live hand grenade.
Driving while performing: includes but is not limited to singing or lip-synching with or without the use of overly theatrical hand gestures, seat dancing (frequently brought on by Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” and anything by Beyoncé), as well as the playing of air guitar, air drums, air keyboard, air bongos, air violin, air banjo, air saxophone, etc. (in addition to endangering the lives of others, you just look stupid)
Driving while listening to talk radio or sports radio: just imagine how many accidents Rush Limbaugh alone has caused by opening his mouth
Driving while entertaining oneself: even if it’s for self-improvement purposes including but not limited to reading newspapers or books (print or tablet versions), doing crossword puzzles or sudoku (especially with a pen), playing Games With Friends (or similar online word games that everyone cheats at), posting your whereabouts and goings-to on Facebook and Twitter
Driving while listening to a meditation CD: It makes sense, people, especially when the voice tells you to close your eyes
Driving while engaging in acts that should be performed in privacy, if at all: includes but is not limited to picking your nose, readjusting your junk, digging out a wedgie, giving your armpits the sniff test and having sex
And finally, driving while attempting to adjust your seatbelt: How’s that for ironic, Alanis Morrissette?

To read Florida Statute 316.305 in its entirety, click here. Just please don’t do so while you’re driving.

Happy National Wear the First Two Socks You Pull Out of Your Sock Drawer Day!

Here at Specktator HQ we love a kooky holiday (National Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket is particular favorite … and yes, I have done it).

Instead of being limited to existing kooky holidays, I’ve decided that I’m making up my own.

That said, I hereby proclaim today, April 22, National Wear the First Two Socks You Pull Out of Your Sock Drawer Day (assuming you have a sock drawer, that is … and two feet, for that matter).

I apologize I did not announce this momentous occasion to the world sooner, but I just thought it up—despite having worn these very socks all day.

Future holidays will be announced in advance to allow others the joy of participating. And if you have any suggestions, post them in the comment section below.

In case you run into Paul McCartney …

Paul McCartney mopey faceLast week, it was announced that Sir Paul McCartney will perform at the Veterans Memorial Arena June 22, 2014.

It’s not likely that you’ll have the opportunity to meet the music legend in person when he’s here. In the event that you do, you may be so nervous that you might blurt out a stupid question like: What’s your favorite Beatles song? Do you keep in touch with Ringo? Or how does it feel to be on the list of “priciest celebrity divorces”?

To prevent you from looking like a local yokel, I have prepared some talking points for you specifically related to Jacksonville in the event that you do run into him.

slim whitman1. McCartney learned to play on guitar right-handed but found it difficult. It wasn’t until he saw a poster of southpaw Slim Whitman (a long-time resident of Orange Park) that he realized he, too, could reverse the order of the strings and play left-handed.

2. He’s the only member of The Beatles who doesn’t have a Jacksonville road named after him, to wit: Lennon Street, Starr Street and Harrison Street, Avenue and Court.

3. A member of Jacksonville’s own Lynyrd Skynyrd, Leon Wilkeson took up the bass guitar because McCartney was his favorite member of The Beatles.

sgt. pepper cover4. Comic actor Oliver Hardy, who moved to Jacksonville in 1913 to work for the Lubin Film Company, appears on the album cover of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.

5. McCartney’s duet partner in “The Girl Is Mine” and “Say Say Say,” Michael Jackson donated his elephant Ali to the Jacksonville Zoo. FUN FACT: Jacko’s sister Latoya makes a cameo in both videos, including playing his love interest. Ew.

If by this point, you and Macca have become right mates, I would suggest inviting him for a pint at one of Northeast Florida’s craft breweries as he’s rumored to brew his own at home.

Mayor Brown photo of the day: The good old days

Selfie-gate will live in infamy. That said, here is today’s Mayor Brown photo of the day. I call this one “Wrong Turn at Colonial Williamsburg.”

Mayor Brown & his colonial friends

Photo source: City of Jacksonville flickr

For more photos of things Mayor Alvin Brown would rather do than take a selfie with me, visit my Tumblr blog: “Things Mayor Alvin Brown would rather do than … take a selfie with me.” Updated daily! And now with FUN FACTS!

 

Mayor Brown photo of the day: Where’s his tuxedo?

Selfie-gate will live in infamy. That said, here is today’s Mayor Brown photo of the day. I call this one “Happy Feet.”

penguin flickr

 

Photo source: City of Jacksonville flickr

For more photos of things Mayor Alvin Brown would rather do than take a selfie with me, visit my Tumblr blog: “Things Mayor Alvin Brown would rather do than … take a selfie with me.” Updated daily! And now with FUN FACTS!

 

Mayor Brown photo of the day: Next level altitude

Selfie-gate will live in infamy. That said, here is today’s Mayor Brown photo of the day. I call this one “I Believe I Can Fly..”

http-::jaxairnews. play co pilotPhoto source: Jax Air News

For more photos of things Mayor Alvin Brown would rather do than take a selfie with me, visit my Tumblr blog: “Things Mayor Alvin Brown would rather do than … take a selfie with me.” Updated daily!

 

Events mentioned (or not) on 4/17/2014 edition of First Coast Connect

fcc_logo_stack_02In case you missed my ramblings on WJCT’s First Coast Connect this morning—or you’re still recovering from One Spark and couldn’t listen—here are some of the events coming up this weekend.

Please note: event times, dates and locations are subject to change, so call before you haul (call the venue, that is, not me).

Tonight 
Springfield Pop-Up Cash Mob, 5:30-8 p.m., Sweet Pete’s
Jaxson’s Night Market, 6:30-9:30 p.m., corner of Adams and Main streets

Saturday
Annual Strides for Pride 5K Run/Walk, 8 a.m., Memorial Park
Local Authors Expo, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Riverside Arts Market
Easter Keg Hunt, 10:30 a.m., Nipper’s Beach Grille
Jacksonville Backyard BBQ Championship, noon-5 p.m., EverBank Field
SpringFest, 2-10 p.m., 5 Points
Jacksonville Breeze, 8 p.m., Veterans Memorial Arena
A Local Affair to Benefit “La Caroline,” 8 p.m., ABET (Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre), Atlantic Beach

Ongoing
“Hilda’s Yard,” through April 26, times vary, Theatre Jacksonville

In other weekend news:

  • Jesse plans to do yard work, watch a Shirley Temple flick and maybe enjoy an IPA.
  • Tarla is playing Uno with a group of friends.
  • Beth Anne has to do homework.
  • Amy is putting away her winter clothes.
  • Suzi will be doing yoga.
  • Chris says there’s BOGO vodka at the Publix Liquor Store.
  • Jennifer wants you to visit Chamblin’s Uptown.

Yours truly appears on First Coast Connect on WJCT every Thursday at 9:45-ish-ish. If you have an event you would like to be considered for the show or other promotional opportunities, feel free to email me.

Throwback Thursday: Get the ‘F’ Out of Here

Since “Throwback Thursday” is such a hit on Facebook, I’m going to use it as an excuse to be lazy and recycle posts from my former Folio.com blog.

specktatorOriginal post: Nov. 13, 2013

At a recent Duval County School Board meeting, the Jacksonville Progressive Coalition presented 1,600 surveys of which 92 percent of the individuals surveyed were in favor of changing the name of Nathan Bedford Forrest High School. I do not disagree with the idea, considering Forrest’s unspeakable war crimes during the Civil War, including the execution of surrendered soldiers, and his post-war co-founding of the Ku Klux Klan. However, I would like to bring to your attention that Forrest High School isn’t the only place in Jacksonville with a name that might be perceived as offensive.

Burro Bar: “Burro” is a synonym for “ass,” so Burro Bar = Ass Bar.

Broad Street: While I personally don’t have a problem with it, the word “broad” is considered by some to be degrading to women. Some less offensive replacements might be: Lady Street, Gentlewoman Street or Female Street.

felch aveFelch Avenue: If you really want to know why “Felch” is a horrible name for a street, check out its definition on Urban DictionaryConsider yourself warned. Seriously.

Jaxx Sports Sports Bar: Besides the fact that adding a second “X” to “Jax” serves no real purpose, Tristan Jaxx is the name of a gay porn star. He has an, ahem, lengthy filmography with titles including “Fleet Week,” “Best Men,” “Endless Crush” and others not appropriate to repeat here.

Nero’s: Nero was a Roman emperor. He also seduced married women and young boys, killed innocent people for no reason, castrated slaves … oh, and murdered his mother. He’s also believed to have started The Great Fire of Rome. Enjoy your spaghetti.

pk noodlesPho King (now PK Noodles): Diners who knew the proper pronunciation of the Vietnamese word “pho” often got a chuckle of suggesting Pho King (aka “Fuh King”) to friends. Apparently, someone alerted the owners the faux (pho?) pas, and the restaurant’s name was changed to PK Noodle, though Pho King is still on the sign.

5 things San Fran might not know about Blaine Gabbert

I just read “Five Facts about 49ers QB Blaine Gabbert.” (Don’t ask me why since he doesn’t even play for the Jaguars any more. Perhaps I thought there would be a mention of some deep-seated issues that cause him to block good, kind-hearted people on Twitter—for no apparent reason.)

blocked by blaine

After reading the article, I’m no closer to learning why I’m #blockedbyblaine … or  anything else for that matter since the article is pretty lame.

As a service to the good people of San Francisco—and to show Gabs I harbor no ill will toward him—I’ve gathered some facts about the QB that are actually interesting.

1. He’s really good at ironing.*

2. He loves watching movies and offering succinct reviews.

  • Hangover 2 was epic.”*
  • Billy Madison cracks me up.”*
  • Ironman 2 is legit.”*

3. He calls burgers “burgs.”*

gabbert shirtless4. He has one of the best quarterback bodies.”** (Can Tim Tebow at least get honorable mention?)

5. The letters in “Blaine Gabbert” can be rearranged as “blabbing eater” or “tan gerbil babe.”***

 

 

* Source: @blainegabbert Twitter
** BuzzFeed
***Internet Anagram Server